A Seed

Bonne Soiree Travellers,

Last weekend I had the oddest feeling inside my body and in the air outdoors…it felt like summer had already been here and gone, when in fact it really hasn’t even arrived yet. I had that feeling of disappointment one has when summer is on it’s way out…Isn’t that peculiar?

I’m going to blame the numerous days of cloudy hungover skies for that sensation. It feels like the weather has created a blank canvas of sorts, or maybe it’s a too much gray canvas.

I feel like many of the dynamic moments of Spring have be drowned out or muted in a way I can’t fully describe….

But on Tuesday night, as I was walking across the terrace, I spied this luscious little fellow…

The first strawberry.

Summer is indeed still coming…

Lemme tell you, in case you don’t know, strawberries that are grown on their own taste so much more wonderful than their store bought counter parts. I think it’s because when you grow them on your own, they get to take their time.

There’s something to be said for letting things grow in their own time.

Especially people.

Don’t you agree?

I think one of the most difficult aspects of being human is the way we struggle with our own pacing. It’s something that defies explanation really as to how we arrive, where we arrive, when we arrive there.

If you are someone who has battled any kind of mental health struggle or familial trauma or addiction or divorce or survived an extraordinary ordeal of any kind, there’s this moment when you think this thought. I arrived at it and I’ve heard many many others express the same sentiment:

Why couldn’t I have figured this out sooner?

I have an idea, would you like to hear it? Here we go…

Do you know who William Shakespeare is? Let’s go with yes for arguments sake… Will once said “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances…” ok, actually Jaques, a character in “As You Like It” recites this whole spiel, but for our purposes, we just need that one little bit to build on…

If you know anything about plays and theatre, let’s say yes again, for arguments sake…then you know that there is a rhyme and reason to scenes and staging and lighting and most importantly, TIMING. The actors don’t just run out on stage all hands in the air like they don’t care, squealing their lines at random intervals. And that is because…

No one gets to say their lines before it’s time.

Read that again.

I’m pretty sure you can’t arrive to your greatest moments of growth any sooner. No one can.

Isn’t that bittersweet?

There are so many moving parts inside us and those who surround us that have to fall into place, just like timing on a stage.

But the questions remain, how does that kind of time work? How does time become right for each of us? Why can’t we force that time forward, faster? Why can’t we arrive at being the person we want to be faster? Why can’t we learn and grow and heal faster?

I know when it’s a strawberry, those that are rushed into fruition are never as delicious…yea, I know, I just punned, sorry not sorry…

And I can’t help but think about how it all begins…A seed.

Ok, in our case, it’s an egg and a squiggly little sperm, but we are going to call it a seed, just for arguments sake.

Because we were a seed. In our parent’s minds, before we were a literal seed in a womb. We were an idea they thought was worth growing. Ideas are a most powerful kind of seed, are they not?

Consider the human existence we currently enjoy…architecture, transportation, medicine, science, fashion, agriculture, and even theatrical plays, these were all ideas that one or more humans felt needed to be planted and nourished.

We are all seeds that grow at different cadences, in different ways and into different humans. But we each need an unspecified amount of time to accomplish this. And we each deserve the opportunity to do that.

I’ve been trying to think about language for teaching this summer and on Instagram. In movement, if you are a consciousness human, and for arguments sake, let’s say you are, you want to use language that embraces everyone. That means every size, age, shape, color, stage of learning, flexibility and strength. The last thing I ever want to do is intimidate someone or make anyone ever feel less than.

Because I believe that the greatest strength of movement is that it has the power to make you feel more than. And it has the power to help you grow.

SO I’ve been thinking about using the analogy of a seed. And the way we all grow differently yet equally beautiful. I can break down any movement to it’s simplest pieces and then grow it from there. I like the idea of growing at your own pace in movement, because we all do. And I like that this idea feels harmonious with the yogic limbs as well.

In summary, strawberries, Shakespeare, theatrical timing, growth, ideas, you and me. All start from a seed.

So, What are you growing?

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Metamorphosis

Congratulations, you’ve made it to Friday Travellers!!

Fridays used to be a different kind of day, am I right? You had survived an ordeal, otherwise known as your working life or school, and now reached the promised land of the weekend. Oh, weekends. Sweet freedom.

And now we find ourselves in a would be 24/7 promised land situation that feels a lot like sitting in a perpetual waiting room at a doctor’s office. A doctor who’s running so far behind, you’re no longer sure you even have an appointment.

What are we waiting for? What are you waiting for? If you are in fact still waiting…

Continue reading “Metamorphosis”

Are you curious?

Good evening Travellers,

Earlier this morning, I gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby post. I saw it, held it, heard it and then published it. And then POOF, gone. ALL. GONE.

ALL MY WORDS GONE. All 1500 of them. There is no word to describe how that felt.

Imagine going thru the delivery of your baby, you see your baby, hold it and then, well, NO BABY. In fact, said baby went back into my proverbial belly, or rather mind in this case, awaiting future possible re-delivery. I guess at least I didn’t have to have an episiotomy, am I right?

Continue reading “Are you curious?”

In Medias Res…

Happy Saturday Travellers,

This is the last sunny day we’re going to have here for awhile so I broke my morning routine and walked to ladies. Saturday’s are usually our day off from walking. By the time our paws hit the pavement, the sun was already out and the sky is clear, so nothing spectacular to gaze at above. The loveliest moment  was the way the dew on the grass shimmered in the sunlight like a thousand little jewels. There’s always something out there to see, that’s a promise I could make without hesitation.

I’ve been having trouble writing lately and I think it’s because I’m been agitated and ineffective in curtailing all my thoughts or just getting a grip. Too much crying, thoughts of dying, too many I don’t want to’s or should have’s or how am I going to’s are not lending themselves to writing. Those thoughts are crowding out or smothering my muse…

Continue reading “In Medias Res…”

Learning To Fly

Good morning Travellers,

It’s one of those mornings where I awoke to 77 degrees, thick air and cloudy skies. No sunrise. Unfortunately for the ladies, anything over 74 means no walk. 74 are the last digits on the thermometer that everyone tolerates well. As in, no one is dragging behind at any point on our jaunt. I sometimes wonder how much heat I could personally handle wearing a fur coat. Dogs are warriors about this kind of stuff aren’t they? Think about that when you see a dog outside in the heat next time…

I realized this past weekend, I have become abit of a home bound soul. Not quite a hermit, but on the weekends, I’ve been in ALOT. Lately I find I’d rather stay in my house with my four furry family members and watch Netflix, soothing myself into numbness than try to I dunno, go out in the world, meet new people, have new experiences, bravely face my future etc. I just want to hide. That’s the truth, I want to curl up in the fetal position and not move. I don’t know that I would call it fear, as much as just sparing myself all the discomfort…I am beyond uncomfortable in my life right now..

Continue reading “Learning To Fly”

EDEN

Good morning Travellers,

Not as early as I had hoped to be honest. I have a list of things I’m working on changing and getting up at 5am is one of those things. So far, no dice, I mean I got up in the 5 o’clock hour but not quite on the bullseye yet…trying again tomorrow…

Let’s talk about growth, because there is change and then there is growing…one of the small joys of my life is my garden. And when I’m out in my little patio garden THIS is the song I think of..it’s a joy song..

Continue reading “EDEN”